In Search of...healthcare

It's Sunday, politics day on my blog. I've been out of town, and while I was away I watched no TV, read no newspapers, and tried to steer my eyes away from the on line headlines. I believe I successfully lowered my blood pressure as a direct result. But now I'm back, and in my pile of accumulated mail was a nifty letter telling me that my health insurance premium is about to increase...again.

I can tell you that since I first began my individual policy after being laid off from a job immediately after 9/11 which provided insurance benefits, my premiums have almost tripled. TRIPLED!!!! But my benefits have not increased. And here's the kicker - if I want to change my deductable and out of pocket expenses so that I can afford the premiums, it will be like applying for a new policy and there will be a pre-existing condition waiting period of one year during which time the care I actually need for things will not be covered.

I realize that I'm one of the lucky ones, the ones who have health insurance, but as my premium inches toward the same amount that I pay for rent, I have to wonder if I will reach a breaking point, a point at which I will have to roll the dice like so many others and opt for the roof over my head and not the insurance.

While I've broached this subject in other political blogs and expounded on the idea that healthcare can not be fixed while it remains a for profit business - particularly on the part of the insurance companies and drug companies, I would like to broach this from another vantage point - that of patriotism.

From the time I was a little girl I was told and believed that this was the greatest country on earth. We hear it day in and day out, but you want to know what we're not greatest in? Life expectancy. That's right. And though the number is debatable (between 37-49 countries ahead of us, depending on what you read), at the very least the citizens of 37 countries live longer than we do. And from the discourse in Washington about healthcare reform, I can see why. And it doesn't seem to matter what form of government a country has either. Cuba is ahead of us. So is Britain. So while Congress is having a big whining pity party about how tough it is to fix this, and where we're going to get the money, at least 37 other countries have figured it out...leaving me less than optimistic about how great we are after all. We would let the mother of three small children die from cancer that could have been detected with preventative screeinings, or an elderly grandfather wither away because he had to choose between the medication he needed or food. Is this who we want to be as Americans? Is this the kind of country that we can take pride in? What happens to the least of us happens to all of us eventually, and now is that moment.

I'm going to cut this blog short because I am going to go do something that I'd love for each of you to do - contact your representatives. And I don't just mean one person. I mean your senators, congressmen (and women), and the President. Let's flood the mailboxes, real and virtual, as well as the phone lines. Let's act on the responsibility incumbent upon us and the opportunities afforded us as American citizens and hold our representatives accountable. They themselves have the best healthcare, and the rest of us deserve no less. Most of us are never called upon to serve our country in any way except for jury duty. Isn't this the critical moment? It's a matter of life and death. Here's the info:

Senate:

http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm

House:

https://writerep.house.gov/writerep/welcome.shtml

President:

http://www.whitehouse.gov/CONTACT/

Thanks for stopping by. Here's to living longer and excellent healthcare for us all.

In Search of...our highest good

I don't know why some people find it easier to create healthy boundaries than others. Seriously. I don't know why some people can say the word "no" without feeling guilt or remorse. Or how you can put yourself first without appearing selfish? And yet, don't you absolutely need to in order to survive and thrive? I don't know how you can be generous of spirit to yourself while being that to others, and yet I know that you can't truly be one without the other. These are the dilemmas I've been grappling with lately. Can you be supportive and loving of someone without sacrificing your own best interests? And is it possible to be loving toward yourself without disappointing those you love most?

So while I'm thinking out loud (or on computer, actually), I thought it would be nice to contemplate the idea of "highest good" because there's some part of me that intrinsically knows that what is for my highest good is for everyone's highest good, and vice versa. Now this is not some whimsical notion predicated on the idea that everything will be easy and smooth. In fact, what often is for our highest good is seldom what is easiest or smoothest, and that's because it involves one particular element - transformation. And transformation involves doing something differently than we've been doing it in order to get a different result so that we can evolve. And goodness knows we'd like to evolve without having to change anything, but that's not how it typically works. And so it can be messy. But just as the earth has evolved to reach its current state of existence, we too must be on a path of evolution on every level.

I'll be the first to tell you that I have not greeted such transformation with an open-arms, go-with-the-flow kind of approach. Mine has been more the kicking and screaming, hanging on for dear life, resistant kind of thing. The only problem with that is it really doesn't serve any constructive purpose, it takes longer, and it makes for a lot of health problems. The truth is that change can be good or bad, but the one thing that is undeniable is its inevitability.

So here I am at the part of the flight where the oxygen masks have all dropped down, and it's time to decide whether I am going to put my own mask on first so that I can then help others, or try to help others first and risk saving none of us. It seems like an easy choice intellectually, and yet, somehow most of us, especially women, do not make it on a regular basis. We choose to put ourselves last, and in the process we teach everyone around us to put us last too. And that serves no one's best interest.

So here's my thought for the day as I come to an end of my meandering - make the choices that are for your highest good - not necessarily the easy ones, not the same ones you've always made, not the ones that feel comfortable, or the ones you think will make you most popular or even liked. Get quiet and be brave enough to listen to the voice inside that knows that it knows - even when it's scary, and new, and not what popular opinion would dictate. Popular opinion once dictated that the world was flat. And that cigarettes were good for you. And that rap music would never last. (I'm kind of disappointed that the last one didn't turn out to be true.) So let's entertain the possibility that there's more good than we can presently conceive of, more fulfillment than we've allowed ourselves to dream, and a brighter future that can be ours if we but dare to ask for and choose our highest good.

Thanks for stopping by. Please tell your friends.

In Search of...simple gifts

On a good day I've been known to question the world's chances of survival, and maybe it's because I'm getting older (as opposed to just plain old) that I find myself wanting to simplify my life. Not surprisingly, this desire to simplify began with the tsunami that was later followed by hurricane Katrina. Being an empathetic kind of gal, I had no trouble imagining myself losing everything I had and being unable to return to my home - which got me thinking about those things I'd want to take with me if I could, and in general my attachment to things. It even got me thinking about what matters in the bigger picture, given the fragility of life that we spend so much of our time consciously avoiding.

While most people would think that visions of catastrophes are not a particularly positive thing to be focusing one's attention on, for me it had quite the opposite effect - it made me seek a connection to what is significant and eternal, and a healthier detachment from what is not. So I started cleaning out closets and donating or selling things I did not use, want, or take joy from. I started visualizing myself unencumbered and free to move about life with the knowledge that what is of importance we take with us on the inside. I started being free with expressing how much people mean to me. Last Christmas I wrote letters to everyone I was spending the holiday with just to let them know how each of them has uniquely impacted my life and how much I treasure them.

These are interesting times we're living in, where most people seem to be grasping at the straws of uncontrollable consumerism to fill an internal void that no supersize flatscreen could possibly fill. There's no toy that can take the place of spending time with people and genuinely listening. There's nothing more fulfilling than giving a child your undivided attention and receiving in return their unwavering trust in you and love for you. Taking the time to enrich your soul with a trip to a museum or by reading a good book, the benefits of which are invisible to a superficial world, but exist nonetheless - these are things that fill voids. A lifetime filled with individual moments of authentic living is not only personally fulfilling, but leaves behind a ripple effect of memories and experiences in other people's lives.

We all want to feel like our existence matters. And it does, but not to the Blackberry and the iPod, or to the flatscreen or the automobile. It matters to those whose lives we touch, and so if we're to race the clock to acquire anything, we should race it to acquire moments of value - that time spent with an elderly parent, or looking at the sky at sunset that will never appear the same exact way twice, the sensation of holding a child's hand, or listening to a piece of music that moves you to tears...or laughter. These are all simple gifts and not in danger of being swept away with the turning tides of progress or calamity.

So take a moment out of your day to stop and appreciate something or someone you've been oblivious to or neglecting, and maybe, just maybe you will find your life as I have found mine - overflowing with the things that are truly of value.

Thanks for stopping by. Please tell your friends.

In Search of...my new religion

I started talking about forming a new religion a couple of days ago, seeing as I now have 16 "followers." I was just dipping my toe in the water, so to speak, when the response signaled that I had struck a nerve. There was some eye rolling and suggested fiery places I might wind up for contemplating such a blasphemous thing, but mostly there was intense curiosity and intrigue, and so I decided to get serious about what started out as a tongue-in-cheek idea because it seemed to me more people than not are searching for something they haven't already found in whatever religion they have been affiliated with or not so far. Maybe we're just facing the same questions as every generation has - Who am I? What is the purpose of my life? What is the meaning of life in general? Is there anything after this, and if so, what? And does that next phase depend on what I do in this one? These are all questions every one of us has asked or wondered about at some point, and those devout to one religion or another are certain they have the right answers. Oh, and there's also the question of human suffering - a biggie to be sure.

So while I'm making smart ass suggestions about the ritual of bringing me couture shoes and possibly chocolate, I am willing to throw some ideas out there that did not by any means originate with me, but have made their way into my psyche nonetheless. I'm willing to suggest that bringing chocolate has as much cosmic impact as anything else one might bring to prayer short of an open heart and mind. Don't get me wrong, rituals can be beautiful but I do not think the direction we're facing or wine we drink is going to matter much more to the Big Guy than the outcome of the football game - but that's just me.

Here's what I do think matters - love. Oh, and I don't mean the hippy-dippy, Pollyanna, everyone-is-good-at-heart kind of love. (Look how far that got Anne Frank.) I mean the kind of love that allows arch enemies to sit down and look for a way to co-exist. I mean the kind of love that prompts me to take the last piece of bread I have and break it in half to share it with you. I mean the kind of love that transcends gender, languages, race, sexual orientation, education, economic status, and yes, religion. It's not the easy kind of love where you love only those who mirror yourself in every way, which is what most of us practice right now. It's the tough kind - the kind that stretches you as a human being. And so my new spiritual practice (because the word "religion" feels like too separatist a word to use) is predicated on one notion. Are you ready? It'll be a mind blower to a lot of people -

Each of us is 100% responsible for 100% of everything that goes on everywhere in the world 100% of the time.

Now I know this could be a deal breaker right here for most people because we don't usually like to take responsibility for our own actions, let alone everyone else's too. Not to mention, we enjoy blaming - everything from the weather to bad luck, and everyone from our parents and spouses to God...as if God would ever be as petty as we've managed to become. But it gets us off the hook and I think it's high time we took some personal responsibility. So after much contemplation, I've decided that mine is the religion of personal responsibility, and in keeping with such, my first commandment, if I were to have any commandments, that is, is this:

Clean up your own mess.

I know that may sound simplistic, but it's pretty all inclusive and I'd like to expound because, well, how often do you get to expound on matters of great importance? Not often. So, by "clean up your own mess," I mean on all possible levels - literally, if you litter or pollute, or are the kind that leaves a shopping cart in the middle of the grocery store parking lot (a total pet peeve of mine), then put it where it's supposed to go. That also goes for the items you change your mind about in a store - put them back where they belong. Not only will you be doing the right thing and leaving things the way you found them, but you will get a little extra exercise walking the few steps. Okay, so that's a small scale thing. Here's a large scale thing - clean up the messes of all your relationships. Even if you've been divorced for twenty years, even if you don't and will never agree, even if you're right and they're wrong, even if what happened was unforgivable, even if you've lost everything or won everything - this world would be completely transformed if each of us would say to those whose lives have been intertwined with ours, "I'm deeply and truly sorry for anything I've done, knowingly or unknowingly, that has caused you pain." There is massive transformative power in the words, "I'm sorry."

Since this is too broad a topic to conclude in one blog entry, I've decided that, like my political blogs, I will do this regularly as well. So here's my assignment for today - pick up one piece of trash or shopping cart that isn't yours and properly dispose of it, and call or speak to one person with whom you have unresolved issues and apologize. We've all hurt, and we've all been hurt. Don't you think today would be a great day to turn that around?

Thanks for stopping by. Please tell your friends.

In Search of...family values

Once a year my mother's side of the family has a reunion. We don't call it a "reunion" per se, but since that's the term most people go by, I'll call it that. We call it a Family Circle and it originated in New York in the 1930's when everyone lived within a subway ride's distance from one another. To my great grandfather who started it, it was a way to keep his children and their children close because of all the core values he had, family was the most important to him. And so it came to be that as the years progressed and the family grew and spread out, assimilating into American society, this Family Circle became less frequent, but not less revered. So once a year someone offers to host it and as many people as can make it venture forth to the east or the west for a weekend of catching up and camaraderie.

I cannot begin to remember how many people outside my family have commented to me that this is an amazing and uncommon thing that we do, that most families are not this close, do not genuinely enjoy each other this much, and would never make a weekend of extended family a priority. And so I've started wondering how anyone can truly talk about "family values" without valuing family.

Family gives us all an opportunity to grow in the most meaningful ways imaginable because no one can push your buttons more, and inclusion is not predicated on choice. So no matter what the intellect, personal attributes, political views or economic status, you don't need to look far to practice and improve a personal skill set that includes tolerance, forgiveness, acceptance and compromise. And those are skills that would stand us all in good stead as we go about our everyday lives in the world.

So for this coming weekend, I will be hanging out with doctors and lawyers, writers and artists, teachers, business people, the unemployed, and the retired. I'll be with small children and the elderly, the lighthearted and not so lighthearted. There will be talk of things current and things past. There will be lots of food and even more laughter. There will be an opportunity to get to know people and be known by them. I will come away personally enriched as I always do, with a sense of pride at a tradition that has managed to survive beyond its founding members' lifetimes. I will come away looking forward to future gatherings and carrying with me a sense of connectedness to the world around me that transcends the current times in which I live. This connectedness is something I wish every person could experience and know for themselves, but for now I can only be an emissary, bringing to others only that which I myself embody.

So while I'm enjoying my family, I hope you'll take some time to enjoy yours - maybe call a cousin or aunt you haven't spoken to in a while, maybe take a minute to appreciate the link in the chain that is all of our lives and will somehow, knowingly or unknowingly, be a part of the future of humanity.

Thanks for stopping by. Please tell your friends...or your family.

In Search of...a new religion

So it dawned on me a while back, that I have fifteen "followers" on my blog, and while some might not consider that a lot, it's three more than Jesus had disciples...which got me thinking about religion and isn't it about time for a new one?

I have been pondering this for quite some time, and so I thought I'd let you know that I am hard at work, contemplating the tenets of said new religion, not to mention a name for it. I realize that those of you who are devout to any particular other faith might find this offensive, as might those of you who don't believe in anything particularly, but I will forge ahead, steadfast in the knowledge that there are at least a couple of people who will consider whatever I have to say. By the way, this new religion will not be centered around worshiping me - though if I thought about it long enough I might make it a requirement to bring couture shoes in a 9 narrow as a sacrifice to me at the altar, but that's just a little fantasy I've got going. Or maybe handbags. Okay, I've got to stop.

Back to religion. Maybe it's not an actual religion. Maybe it's just more like rules to live by. Hmm - this may take more contemplation than I originally thought.

Well, anyway, thanks for stopping by. And here's one rule to live by from Ilene for today - say something nice to someone you don't know. (It will change their whole day.)

In Search of...signs of intelligent life

It's Sunday, and if it's Sunday, it must be politics day on my blog, but the thing is I've got this cold/flu thing going on and so my resistance is down...and so is my tolerance for Beltway inertia and pettiness.

So This Week with George Stephanopoulos found the minority and majority whips firmly toting their party lines on healthcare reform and the economy, which they can both afford to do since they've got money and healthcare, so what do they care if the American people are suffering while they stand firm for political gain? It was a waste of time and nothing I haven't heard before and I repeat my earlier suggestion that now would be a good time for the White House to call them in one by one for a little frying pan therapy until they come to their senses.

And just a word on the stimulus to my childish compatriots who need instant gratification or they consider it a total failure - that's how we got into this economic mess to begin with - by wanting instant gratification - huge, unrealistic returns on investments, houses with no money down, etc. Thank God we've got a president who's an adult with enough common sense to know that this can only be fixed successfully over the long term, by seeing the bigger picture and implementing programs that will ultimately create jobs, improve our living conditions, and yes, turn the economy around. But this will not happen overnight, and so everyone's saying it didn't work. I say, just sit down, be quiet, and wait awhile. And while you're waiting, you might want to pitch in and help. You know, you could mentor a child after school, or babysit for a working mother, or recycle, visit the elderly and bring a hot meal - anything at all would be constructive and you don't have to look far to see the need. So I'm still affording my President his Superman cape until further notice.

Shockingly, there are reports from sources who say that Dick Cheney directed the CIA to keep secret a counterterrorism program, meaning that even Congress wasn't briefed that such a program existed. First of all, duh. What is this, a surprise? Of course he did all kinds of secret and probably illegal stuff. Are we seriously feigning shock now? And though I believe that ultimately nothing will come of it, it would be just and fitting if he and the former President were prosecuted to the full extent of the law. If the "when the President does it, it's not illegal" argument didn't work for Nixon, it shouldn't work for Bush and Cheney either.

Now on to fast food, a logical segue from Dick Cheney. So Oscar Mayer died at age 95, which got me thinking and googling. And it turns out that Colonel Sanders died at 90, but Dave Thomas died at 69. The conclusion I'm drawing is that store bought processed meat is better for you than Wendy's, but if you must eat out, go for KFC. And I didn't even use charts and graphs!

Judge Sonia Sotomayor is starting her confirmation hearings, and I don't mind telling; you that I'll probably just watch the highlights. I was attentive for Clarence Thomas and John Roberts and frankly, they both made me sick, so I think I'm going to sit this one out. Yup. Good luck Sonia.

Finally, I wanted to close with a touch of the absurd. So there I sat for the 2nd or third week in a row, watching the round table discussion on a political show veer towards Michael Jackson, except this time the discussion was about there being too much media coverage and air time given to a pop singer, which elicited an audible giggle from me because they were spending yet more air time discussing the overabundance of coverage. Am I the only one who finds that funny?

Then George Will chimed in, coining the term "synthetic grief," which he also used to describe the outpouring for Princess Diana. Oh George Will, have ye no heart? Are you really only able to feel for those you know personally? Is there no touch of sadness you can find in your heart for those whose potential was cut short by brevity of years? Is there no way you can feel the tragedy of losing someone who had the courage to say, "Heal the world. Make it a better place for you and for me and the entire human race?" And Princess Diana who walked through land mines to bring attention to those who lost limbs, who held AIDS babies - is there really no way you can see that as a personal loss for us all? Well, I wish you a softening of the heart, my friend - kind of like the kind the Grinch had at the end of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.

Well, since I've covered Congress, the CIA, deli meats, and the Grinch, my work here is done for today. Thanks for stopping by. Please tell your friends.