Monday, October 4, 2010

In Search of...countdown to Jon Stewart and my top five reasons to live in Minnesota

I am starting a countdown. I'm counting down to Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity on October 30th. I just signed up to ride on one of Arriana Huffington's buses from New York to D.C. I can hardly believe I'm becoming such a "joiner."

It's not that it's unlike me to rally for something. After all, didn't I stand in front of my Tennessee Congressman's office with my bright oaktag sign that declared there's no healthcare reform without a public option? (Yes, I did.) Fat lot of good that one did me. I'm currently uninsured. Okay, so here's hoping this one turns out a little better than that one did.

I'm kind of excited. I've never participated in anything this large, at least I think it's going to be massive. I mean, Oprah gave it a tweet, for God's sake! Hey, maybe she'll be there! I can hardly wait! Anyway, I'm counting down. 26 days left. Besides, if there's anything I need, isn't it really to restore my sanity?

That brings me to my next topic. Oh yes, I could and possibly should be talking about the midterm elections, but no. Not me. Not now. I've been on a thing about Minnesota lately. Quite frankly, it's hard to remember exactly how it started, but I'm going to guess is was reading Garrison Keillor's book Homegrown Democrat that first got me thinking about the state. If basic common sense and neighborly-ness weren't enough of a draw to live in that great state, I realized that the Mall of America is located there. My eyes glaze over and my endorphins kick in just thinking about shopping in the QVC store, and so #2 on my list, after Garrison Keillor is Mall of America. #3, and these are really not in the order of importance, is Senator Al Franken. I would like to both be able to vote for him, and to say he's my senator. That might make me burst into that Lee Greenwood song, "I'm proud to be an American..." where Al Franken can both have a best selling book that blasts Fox News as well as be a senator.

Speaking of which, and this is just an aside, but I'm thinking of running for Congress. Yes, you heard me. Get your checkbooks ready, boys and girls. Ilene needs health insurance and congress people get it forever. How's that for a platform? Also, I would actually do what I think is right. Screw re-election. I just want to do a little good and get my darn health coverage. So vote Ilene - as soon as I pick a state to live in.

Okay, so back to Minnesota. The Mayo Clinic. Really, that should be first on my list of reasons.

Lastly, I have spent the last year transcribing people from all over the country. I am not at liberty to say what I've been transcribing, but let's just say that the most intelligent and well spoken people I came across were in the state of Minnesota. At first I thought it was a fluke, but there were too many of them for it to be a fluke. Now don't get all mad at me if you live in states other than Minnesota. Heck, I live in a state other than Minnesota (for now). But in my sample study I am ranking them first. Texas and Kentucky, sorry. You both tie for last. Study hard and maybe you will speak English in complete sentences one day.

So in summation, my top five reasons to move to Minnesota are:

The Mayo Clinic
Senator Franken
Mall of America
Garrison Keillor
smart people

Before you all tell me that it's cold there, I already know. I'll back a coat and boots.

Thanks for stopping by. Please tell your friends. I'll see you on my next countdown.

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