This past Saturday marked the 7-year anniversary of the release of my CD, In Color.
Normally, such occasions would be marked by a simple Facebook post with a link, sure to garner a few more sales. But this year, I’ve been thinking about the distance and perspective time has given me.
In Color was the record I made just in case I never got the chance to make another record. You know, the in-case-I-get-hit-by-a-bus project. The one I made so I wouldn’t look back at the end of my life and say, “I should have,” or “I wish I had.”
While it would behoove all of us to make choices throughout our lives that don’t leave us with the regret of roads not traveled, I can’t say that I’ve always done that.
For the bulk of my adult life, I pitched songs to other artists and had my demos for them recorded by other singers.
When I would play out and sing my own songs, I would get the best response from the meaningful stuff, but in the world of commercial songwriting, those weren’t the ones that earned money. And for years, I couldn’t reconcile my ability to write commercially with my obligation to write what I was put on earth to write.
Until I decided to make In Color.
When I moved back to New York from Nashville, something changed deep within me. There was a moment of reckoning, where I could not take one more step forward, doing what I’d done, the way I’d done it, without first honoring the thing I’d always wanted to do, but hadn’t allowed myself.
Then came the torture of overthinking, because, well, this is me we’re talking about.
Was I just being self-indulgent to make a record?
Was it worth it? What would I be giving up if I didn’t do it? What would I be giving up if I did?
I could remodel my kitchen with what I’d be spending on this record.
These are the things artists think about that other professions don’t contend with.
Once I made the decision to do it, I was committed no matter the obstacles I might face or the things, both good and bad, that I couldn’t foresee. And there were a lot of things I couldn’t foresee.
To begin with, I really only knew one thing for certain – that my friend, Tanya Leah was going to produce it.
As she was recording and producing her own Roses for Panjo album, I thought it was achingly beautiful, and I couldn’t think of a description I was more desirous of than “achingly beautiful.” So I asked her if she would produce my record.
At some point, when we were sitting outside at a local New York Italian joint, I wrote out a list of intentions for my record on the back of my paper placemat.
To be clear, at that moment, sitting there, my intentions seemed ridiculous.
Other than Tanya and me, I didn’t know who’d be playing on it. I knew my friends Lorraine and BethAnne would sing backgrounds with Tanya. I don’t think all the songs were even written at that point, including the title track.
It would be three years before the record was done. But there are things about what’s on it that I will treasure forever.
For instance, one song has the piano that I grew up playing. Another song has a bunch of friends as well as my father singing on it.
Caitlin sent in her violin parts. Everett played percussion and sang. Anthony wrote the friends song with Tanya and me. A tambourine with just the right sound for the gospel song. Yes, I wrote a gospel song.
Violas, bass and drums from Nashville.
Kenny Loggins for a duet partner.
Magic happens when you follow your heart.
Opportunities present themselves when you dare to take a chance on being the person you dreamed you’d be.
I never got the new kitchen, but the song, “In Color” has been sung at Lincoln Center, 54 Below, by cabaret singers, Broadway stars, and seven years worth of theater kids at Nicori Studios. It continues to be learned and sung all over the country, thanks to kindred spirits who believe the lyrics about living life in bright neon color bear repeating and sharing.
Time marches on. But I still get to sing all the songs when I do concerts. And Tanya, Lorraine and I formed the band, The Inspire Project.
I would love for you to take a listen to the album, In Color, if you haven’t…or even if you have.
I hope some of the songs speak to you and resonate with your own life.
I wish you roads traveled, chances taken, and dreams fulfilled.
Happy 7th Anniversary to In Color. And so much gratitude to those who gave of their gifts and heart on it, and for those of you listening.
xo
Ilene
