My Birthday Blog - What to Keep, What to Throw Away

It’s my birthday today, and so far, it has been one filled with love and well wishes from both expected and unexpected people. And I can’t really think of a better way to celebrate than to try to be fully present to all the good people would send my way.

I’ve been thinking a lot about dreams lately – which ones to dust off and go for with zeal, and which to let go of and consider a thing of the past. And maybe this birthday is finding me more reflective and melancholy because as we get older, we become more keenly aware of how fast time goes and how quickly life changes and how, in the blink of an eye, those we love can be taken from us. So I want to be sure to appreciate every morsel of beauty and joy that I can in any given moment.

Today, I am contemplating what to keep and what to throw away. And though I usually sift through these things around the New Year, I feel like it’s somehow more fitting today to boldly lay claim to my intentions. So on that note…

I want to keep those relationships that nurture my soul and serve as a reminder of who I am at my very best.

I want to throw away any erroneous thoughts of lack and not enough, because this is a world of abundance and possibility.

I want to keep an outlook of hope, faith and love no matter what the circumstances that surround me.

I want to throw away old ideas and beliefs that no longer reflect what I know to be true. And what I know to be true is – love trumps fear, faith trumps doubt, and miracles happen in big and small ways every minute of every day.

I want to keep the passion for creating something new out of a blank page, because, really, isn’t that the gift we’re handed every day we get up in the morning – a blank page and a clean slate to start over again?

I want to throw away pain and keep the compassion gained by it.

I want to throw away the notion that we are limited by our past or our present and hold fast to the knowledge that I am creating my future by the words and deeds I choose right now.

I want to throw away the remnants of self-loathing and keep the ones that taught me self-love.

I want to keep an open heart, a willing spirit, and an air of expectancy that good begets good, that love is the bold and best choice always, and that unimaginable blessings will chase us down if we are but willing to receive them.

These are the things I am envisioning for myself on this birthday. I wish for you, dear reader, not only all the things you wish for yourself, but a keen awareness of my gratitude for you, both friend and stranger alike.

Thanks for stopping by. Peace and Blessings to you.

In Search of...nervous anticipation

Lately I've been feeling a nervous anticipation, like something big is about to happen. No, it's not Mitt Romney announcing his running mate, although I would like to point out that I see a striking resemblance between Paul Ryan and the TV character Eddie Munster, but that's just me. Anyway, back to the story, which is this feeling of butterflies I've been having lately.

I remember when I first felt like this. I was starting out in the music business in New York, 1980-something. I was playing clubs, most of which have since closed. I was working an office job during the day, recording all night and weekends, slinging cassette tapes at anyone and everyone I thought might be able to help get my songs heard. I had a belief in the inevitability of success. I was young and hopeful and naive. But I look longingly now at the bravery I possessed for as insecure as I was back then. That's the beauty of aging - wisdom acquired after gravity begins making a mockery of various body parts. But possible nips and tucks are a conversation for another day.

With this persistent nervousness has come a visual resurgence in my mind's eye of things I haven't let myself think about in many years - like the dreams I held for my life before ever contemplating what wasn't possible. And I wish that the person I am now could have had a conversation with the younger me and told me to listen to others less and bet on myself more, because in the end, we are left with the results of the choices we've made, and seldom do we regret what we've done nearly as much as what we didn't do. (That's how I wound up parasailing in Maui recently.) So now I allow myself to see my life as I dreamed it once in all its splendor and with unbridled passion and excitement.

We live in the realm of the physical, though, where circumstances and appearances run contradictory to optimism. And most would consider it folly to take a few minutes a day and boldly dream the dreams they once considered their birthright. But me, I'm seeing things differently now. I'm working as though any minute those things are showing up, because the truth is we just don't know. And it's just as possible that they will as that they won't. So why not go for what feels happier? This is my new thinking.

So while I'm off writing songs and polishing banter I might otherwise have no use for, I invite you to revisit the longings of your own heart and pull out a dream or two that makes you smile.

As for that feeling of nervous anticipation, I still don't know what it is. But I'm certain it's something big. I'll keep you posted on it.

Thanks for stopping by and spending a few minutes with me. Please tell your friends.

Peace & Blessings,
Ilene