the time in between

“It’s all happening.” I accidentally erased Almost Famous from my DVR yesterday. Was not happy about it, either, but then I realized I’d probably already committed most of it to memory, or at least the wisdom most useful from it – “Be honest and unmerciful.” – I seem to use this mostly when writing about myself, though. Hmm… “You cannot make friends with the rock stars.” – Yeah, this one I’ve disregarded entirely. And “It’s all happening.” – This reminds me both to stay present and that everything I envision already exists.

But what about the time between knowing something exists in the ether and seeing it come to fruition in your life? What do we do with the time in between?

That’s where I find myself now – knowing that both the vision and the groundwork have been laid, aware that little by little, day by day I’ve been doing the work. But the rest isn’t my piece of the puzzle to complete. And in many ways, that makes it the hardest part of all for me.

We live in a perpetual state of busyness, but there is a huge difference between being busy and being productive. Sometimes it’s productive to take a walk, go to a movie, clean out a closet or take a nap – although, frankly, I’ve never been much of a napper.

There’s a saying that goes, “The harder I work, the luckier I get.” And to the extent that you have to clock a lot of hours to become proficient, let alone excellent at anything, I suppose that’s true. But a lot of us feel that if we’re not working 24/7, we’re going to miss some big opportunity. And by “a lot of us,” I mean me. But here’s what I’ve figured out about that – that underlying belief has nothing to do with work; it has everything to do with fear. And fear has never taken me any place worth going.

So this year, I’ve turned over a new leaf, and I’m not gonna lie to you, it feels weird, but it also feels exhilarating, exciting, and completely unfamiliar. Now I am clear that there is a part of the equation of my life that is my job, but I’m also clear that there is a part of the equation that is not. And the part that is not is where trust comes in.

So I’ve got a little time on my hands, but mostly it’s the time I used to spend worrying incessantly, fretting needlessly, and generally freaking out. I kind of don’t know what to do with myself. I was thinking maybe pottery. Also on the list of potential activities is mermaid camp, which is a real thing, it turns out. I actually know someone who did it. And finding out where people learn to luge. Oh, not because I want to be an Olympic luger. I just want to find out where one would dip the proverbial toe in the proverbial water of the whole luge thing. How does one even get started in that, do you suppose? (See, these are the things I’ve been wondering about in the time I used to spend worrying. Way better use of my time.)

I’ve decided in the meantime to go watch a documentary about the Sherman brothers that I’ve wanted to see for a long time. Maybe I’ll tell you about it in my next blog. And also, if I find out the answer to the luging question. So much to look forward to. I can only imagine your anticipation.

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