It feels appropriate that, as the year winds down and we prepare for another one to start, that we take stock, assess, and reflect about the year gone by.
It’s tempting to lean solidly one way or the other – either positively or negatively, but I think, looking back, that this year has been one where even loss and sadness were tempered by beauty and appreciation for moments shared and life lessons learned.
When 2013 began, my friend Garry called me and asked if I wanted to be his “action partner.” I said yes, without thinking, and then immediately had second thoughts. I had done enough of these self-helpy-work-shoppy kinds of things to know that there would be goals involved and the expectation of accountability. And I had lofty goals, my friends, with absolutely no way, given my immediate set of circumstances, of accomplishing them.
I wanted to record a new CD of my songs and write a book. In a year. Just to give you an idea, my first book took ten years. And it isn’t even that long. But it was my first, so if you take away all the time I spent torturing myself with self doubt, then it took me…crap, it still took a long time.
And the CD – where exactly would the money come from to do it? And was there a reason compelling enough to actually make it? And how and with whom would I record it?
So we got together, Garry and me, at a diner - with legal pads and lists of short, medium, and long range goals. All my goals seemed overwhelming and not remotely doable to me.
But if our lives are comprised of the decisions we make, then the decision I made was to write down and say out loud what I wanted to have happen. And then take action every day in some way toward that end result.
One could argue that this is not rocket science. However, until you’ve written a song, you don’t know that it is equal parts work and pixie dust. By the way, I just googled “pixie dust,” and I’m not referring to the street drug here…unless you want to write “MacArthur Park.” Then have at it with that. But I’m referring to the glittery, magical Disney-esque substance.
Anyway, this year has been an amazing journey in getting out of my own way, in learning to trust spirit, intuition, that inner sense of knowing – whatever you want to call it – and follow it. It’s been a year of examining old habits and making new choices. And oddly enough, when you make a different choice, you get a different result. I know, not rocket science, either. But hey, some people get there faster than others.
So instead of the usual melancholy that overtakes me heading into a New Year, I am giddy with excitement, because I am in the midst of recording my album – the one I couldn’t see a way to make happen when I sat down with the legal pads at the diner with Garry almost a year ago.
And a good chunk of my book is written, enough, in fact, for me to know that it, too, will see completion in the coming year.
So as I think about what might go on my list for 2014, I am taking a moment to be present in pure gratitude – for every single person who has shared my journey this past year, for the gifts of love and friendship and family, for staying open to possibilities unimagined, and of course…for pixie dust.
Thanks for stopping by. Please tell your friends and keeping checking in as I blog down to the New Year!