...the Right Words

Words have power. They speak worlds into existence. They can stir the soul or break a heart.

We use them too much and say too little. We hold our tongues, when we should say what we need to say. Or we rush to anger and utter what is irretrievable.

Words carry with them the energy of our intentions, and whether it’s a song lyric, a sonnet, or a political speech, they help shape who we are, and they are what we use to define and describe ourselves and each other.

So whether it’s the voice in our heads or what we utter aloud, we ought to stop and think and pay attention to what it is we say, because we will create something with it – good or bad.

This whole thing about words came to mind, because I watched Joe Kennedy’s speech last night after the State of the Union (or Uniom as the case may be). And for the first time in what felt like an eternity, I had my faith in humanity restored, momentarily at least, and felt this long absent thing I would describe as hope.

And it got me thinking about the sheer power of rhetoric, that this could do that in just a few sentences. But it wasn’t just the words. It was that I didn’t have to wonder if the man saying them was genuine. I didn’t feel like I was a pawn in a political game of chess. I felt like I was someone who was cared about and spoken for, and it occurred to me that we ought to start speaking the world we want to live in into existence.

So how do we do that?

I think we appeal to our better angels and not the lowest common denominator.

I think we build each other up instead of tearing each other apart.

I think if there is a nice thing to say, we say it, whether it’s, “I like your shoes,” or “I love you.”

I think we start being kinder to ourselves in the ways that truly matter, and stop the internal voice that would say we are anything less than capable, intelligent, worthy and desirable.

Somehow, we’ve got to begin standing up for each other, instead of this whole isolating “my God is better than your God,” or “my race is better than your race,” or any lie we perpetrate against one another because of our differences.

Our differences are our strength, not our weakness. Our inclusivity is what enriches our lives. We all come from the same place, whether you call that place God, the Big Bang, or the Candy Man.

When all is said and done, our time here is brief. So dare to say what you want to build. Dare to be vulnerable and trust that your honesty will deepen your relationships. Dare to be bold about what excites you.

Words have power. And we ought to use that power for great things. For encouragement. For empathy. For kindness. For big ideas and stepping stones to healing. For compassion and striving. For being a voice for the voiceless. For declaring what is possible. We can do that, because words have power.

So take a moment wherever you are right now and say something nice to someone, even if it’s a stranger on a bus. Seriously, try it. Words have power. 

Thanks for stopping by today. Please tell your friends.

...Going Home Again

…Aaaand we’re back. Not a moment too soon. We’re home, where this blog began, and where it will likely remain, although if there’s one thing I’ve learned in the past 24 hours, it’s not to get too used to anything. 

Change is the one constant, and you’d think knowing that, I would have managed to be better by now at coping with it and even embracing it. But my knee-jerk reaction is momentary hysteria, followed by oh yeah, it’s all gonna be fine..and maybe even better. 

If you’re new to my blog or to me, and this is your first time here, welcome. I’m so glad you stopped by. 

This blog began in 2009, before blogs were even a “thing” like they are now. 

In fact, I had to call my cousin Erik and ask him what a blog actually was and how to start one. 

I was trying to get a book deal at the time, and a publisher told me I needed to create a blog to gather fans. But the funny thing is, I had a feeling about it as I was starting it. I felt like it was going to take me somewhere unexpected. I felt like it was going to lead me to something big. 

And the truth is it did. 

This blog has taken me on adventure after adventure, while honing my skills. Me and my big blogging mouth became political activists, impacted honest to goodness television news, rallied the troops to get healthcare passed, and eventually began writing for The Huffington Post, which was still Arianna’s baby at the time. (She sold it in 2011 to AOL.)

As of yesterday, however, HuffPost, as it is now called, did away with their contributor’s platform, and thus, another new era begins. 

I’ve been giving a lot of thought lately to how we change the world. On the eve of the second Women’s March tomorrow and the anniversary of the first one a year ago, I am pondering the various ways we all contribute. 

A year ago, I was moved to tears as my friends and I approached the massive crowd in New York City, the likes of which no one had ever seen before. 

The love was palpable and so was the peace. It was the living embodiment of “we’re all in this together.” 

Most of us are not inclined to lead. We’ll follow gladly, but not be the one to lead the charge. The thing is we don’t have that luxury anymore. 

Every one of us must face our own discomfort and do what we can. If you’ve never seen yourself this way before, see yourself this way now. 

As my friend Lorraine once said in a completely different context, “If you’re not dead, get up!” 

Seriously. If you’re waiting for someone to come in and save you, forget it. Get up. It’s time we saved ourselves and each other. 

Last year, as we were marching, I could see the music video of this event playing out in my mind. 

As I started to put it together, I found people from around the world eager to contribute and send pictures and video clips of the various marches. 

I enlisted the talents of a young filmmaker named Dustin Scully to help me realize this vision. The result is the following video of my song “We are the Ones.”  

I hope that tomorrow will serve as a reminder of what unites us. I hope that each of us will remember to lend a hand, build each other up, lead the way, and be the voice for the voiceless. 

Thank you for stopping by. Please tell your friends, and visit again. 

...a birthday blog for Everett Bradley!!

Every so often, one of my unsuspecting friends is the proud recipient of a birthday blog from yours truly. And today, the honor belongs to Everett Bradley!

I first met Everett among swarms of people after some gig he played at the Bitter End, but as we know, swarms of people are not very conducive to any kind of meaningful interaction, so it would be a few years before I feel like I can say I actually met Everett.

It was at a pre-New Year’s Eve party that my friend Tanya Leah hosted, and it was a lovely intimate gathering that turned into a magical evening of meaningful conversation with everyone in attendance.

Did you ever meet someone who just exudes love and joy and light? That is Everett. And that is apart and aside from the ridiculous amount of varied talents that ooze from every pore of his being. Ooze, I tell ya.

I was going to put a whole bunch of stuff here about how he’s played with everyone from Springsteen to Bowie, been nominated for a Grammy, appeared on Broadway and just finished a stint as bandleader for The Meredith Vieira Show, but it seemed very name-droppy and braggy. Oops. Did it anyway!

But the more relevant point, to me, anyway, is that when Tanya and I called him to ask if he’d be part of my album, he said, “yes.” And that was at a time when he certainly didn’t need the work. And also, he’d never heard what I do, so total act of faith on his part, for which I will always be grateful.

Everett wound up singing the male background vocals on almost every song on the album, as well as playing percussion as only he can. If there was a camera on my face during his sessions, you would see the biggest, giddiest, most joyous and gratitude-filled grin on my face. (The still photo here of us afterwards will have to suffice, I’m afraid.)

In a couple of days, I will get to play and sing live with him in studio for a video shoot, and I consider that a thrilling privilege. But in all honesty, the bigger thrilling privilege is to call him my friend.

You are a beautiful soul, Everett Bradley, and I hope this day is a true celebration of the gift you are. Happy, happy birthday!!

Everett and Me (It's his drink I'm holding, I swear!)

Everett, Tanya, and me in post-recording bliss!

...your world now

I have been known, on many occasions, to write blogs eulogizing and paying homage to those who have passed – some famous figures and some relatives, friends, and acquaintances.

It seems fitting to try to capture some small detail of a life lived and impact made. The truth is we all impact each other in profound ways that go unspoken most of the time.

It’s that teacher who encouraged you, that event that changed the course of your life, the love you thought would last forever. We are destined to grow and change, despite our best efforts not to. We become who we are, and along the way we are accompanied. We are accompanied by a soundtrack, the songs that take the journey with us.

Maybe it starts with the music our parents played. Maybe it’s an older sibling. We are not conscious, most of us, of what forms us until we look back much later, until we start making our own choices, dabbling in different genres, until we find what speaks to us, and maybe even more importantly, what speaks for us.

My tastes have never been the avant-garde. I’m not drawn to art that disturbs me. I’m drawn to what makes me feel a part of something larger, or at the very least, less alone in the world. The world is disturbing enough. I want harmony, both in my music and in my soul.

You would think that, being a songwriter, I would have a long play list when it comes to favorite bands through the years, but the truth is I’ve only ever really truly loved two – the Beatles and the Eagles.

If you scoured my CD collection, that is pretty much who you would find for bands, not that there haven’t been other good ones, but let’s be frank, the other bands I’ve liked can trace their sonic lineage directly to the Eagles, so why not stick with the source?

When John Lennon was shot, it was one of those events where you could remember exactly where you were when you heard the news, what you were doing, how you felt. Our world would never be the same, not only because of the way in which he died, or how young, but because his passing made any hope of a future reunion gone to us forever. We’ve had decades to live with that, now and accept it.

The Eagles, though, that’s another story. We’ve seen and heard hell freeze over. And no matter how long they’ve each had solo careers, it never seemed to shut the door on the band, on that sound, on the songs that have been our soundtrack.

Glenn Frey died last Monday, and though his passing has been one in a long line of recent musical passings, I have hardly been able to speak about it, so profound seems this particular loss.

I didn’t know him personally. I knew nothing about his life or his family. I couldn’t tell you his birthday or favorite color. But if you asked me for a list of my all-time favorite songs, there was sure to be at least one of his on there. And that is saying something.

In a world where melody and lyric have been replaced by a driving beat and mindless repetition of disposable hooks, it’s easy to see why respect must be paid to those whose work endures. I often wonder what songs our current youth will be reminiscing about four decades from now. Justin Bieber? Jay Z? I feel sorry for them. Truly.

Me, I’ve got these songs, timeless, and enduring, and so much more poignant to me now. The world seems a much sadder place, with the Eagles, like the Beatles, relegated to a memory now. The harmonies seem that much sweeter, and my own life, that much more fragile.

Artists are struggling nowadays. We seem perpetually torn between trying to stay afloat and trying to stay true to ourselves. Bands like the Eagles never seemed to have to endure this struggle. They never seemed to go away or lose relevance.

I find myself telling people to say something that matters, because our time here is brief and the need is great for that.

Glenn Frey seemed to already know that, and with his passing, I hear this song of his and Jack Tempchin’s in a new way…

“It’s your world now, use well the time

Be part of something good, leave something good behind

The curtain falls, I take my bow

That’s how it’s meant to be, it’s your world now.”

the last blog of 2015!

I always get a little melancholy at the close of a year. I find myself contemplating what I’ve done, if I’ve accomplished what I set out to, and where I am in the trajectory of my life.

It’s easy to overlook the largest victory of all – that I’m still here. The older I get, the less I take that for granted and the more I remember to say, “Thank you, God.”

I just saw this very simple, but profound meme on Facebook that said, “If it doesn’t open, it’s not your door.”

That made me stop and think for a moment. I wish I could say I lived that way, that when something didn’t work out, I let it go and moved on, sure in the knowing that it wasn’t for me. But unfortunately, I’ve been known to do just the opposite. To jiggle the handle, to use all my might to pry the damn thing open, even knowing it shouldn’t be that hard.

So after contemplating and contemplating what it is I want to relinquish in the coming year, I have come to the conclusion that the thing most worth giving up is struggle.

How many times do we fight with ourselves or with others in an attempt to have things look or come out a particular way? And to what avail?

What would it look like if we accepted the notion that if we try the door and it doesn’t open, we move on to the next? What surprises would we find behind the doors that do open? What peace would we experience if we headed for our goals, but relinquished the control of their appearance?

So I think my mantra for the new year that lies ahead is that meme: if it doesn’t open, it’s not your door.

In other words, go where you’re wanted. Be with those who would have you. Quit trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. Know who you are and be that.

I believe we are all called to greatness. We all have something to contribute that is very much needed. We are not put here to languish and then die. We are here as the human expression of divinity. We are here to love and be loved. All of us.

So as the New Year inches toward us, let us decide what we will take forward with us and what we will leave behind. And let’s leave behind anything that would limit us or our possibility for magnificence.

I am grateful for all of you who visit this blog, and who find meaning in what I create.

I stand with you now in love and gratitude and with a heart bursting with anticipation for all the good things this new year will bring.

I wish you all life’s richest blessings and I wish us all a world of peace.

Happy, happy New Year!!

Ilene

...what tree we are planting

I heard this quote yesterday while watching a Barbra Streisand special on PBS…

“A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.”

It is a Greek proverb. I know, it’s a little unlikely that my source for Greek proverbs would be Barbra Streisand, but I take my inspiration from where it comes, and this one really blew my mind and got me thinking.

What is it that we are willing to plant? What are we willing to put our efforts towards, even knowing that we will not live to see the fruits of our labor?

I think this may be the ultimate question in life. What are we willing to do, even knowing we won’t see the result?

For instance, I’m sure the writer of that proverb did not know that I would hear it and it would impact me. How could he?

But the truth is we impact each other and the world in ways we will never know, both in the here and now and in the future. A word, a smile, a door held, a thought shared, one act of kindness – it all changes the world forever.

We don’t like to think of ourselves as having that kind of power, because to know that would mean that we are responsible for a lot more than we would like to be. Once you know that you can and do, in fact, change the world with every choice you make, you can’t un-know that. Once you know that what you do and say really matters, then your choices cannot remain unconscious.

Many people look at the world such as it is at the moment and wring their hands in despair. I know. I’ve been one of them. The darkness seems daunting and insurmountable. But I assure you it is not.

So I repeat – what are we willing to put our efforts towards, even knowing we will not live to see the fruits of our labor?

I can tell you the one thing we must be willing to let go of – immediate gratification. We must stop having the childish expectation of cutting to the front of the line, of getting all of the benefits with none of the work involved.

We don’t build genuine self-esteem without overcoming something. Challenges are not put in our path so that we can get discouraged and give up. We are meant to triumph, but that triumph comes at the cost of our own transformation. Our personal evolution isn’t about becoming someone else or conforming to the false god of societal expectations. We are here to become more and more ourselves.

What is unique about each one of us is exactly what is needed in this world right now. The light that is contained within each of our souls is what will illuminate the darkness in the world.

Love – that invisible, intangible, yet, the only thing that is eternal – that love that created us, that love that sustains us, that love that goes on, even when we leave our physical bodies – that is our ultimate essence and the infinite thread that binds us all to one another.

When I think about what is worthy of my efforts, what immediately comes to mind is not any physical accomplishment. I think kindness is worth my time. I think giving voice to people who need one is worth my effort. I think speaking on behalf of compassion and inclusion is worth my energy. I think opening the door to the discussion of what loving ourselves truly looks like is not only worth my effort, but it’s the only way the world is going to change for the better.

What is most disturbing as we look at the violence, hatred, and intolerance of the world we live in today is that it is an outward reflection of our internal make up. And there is not one of us who is exempt from culpability, much as we like to console ourselves with the notion that we are above that. The truth is we are not above that, because it still exists. We will know we play no part in it when “peace on earth, good will to men” actually arrives.

What are you willing to do? What would you do, even knowing that you will not see the fruits of your labor? What matters to you that much?

“A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.”

What tree are we planting?

Let’s do it today.

The List 2015!

Every year for a while now, I’ve been telling you, my dear readers, my picks for what I’ve been listening to, watching, reading, and buying during the Christmas season, in case you need some fresh ideas about what to get that special someone, including yourself.

This year, the playing field is chock full o’ fabulous ideas, because they include the opportunity to do good for others, support independent artists, and enrich your lives in several different ways.

At the top of my list is a way to truly do some good. Most of us give a little something extra during this time of year, whether it be to those collecting toys for needy tots or cash for the bell ringers outside of stores.

I’m proposing a way to help someone one on one. No middle man, no wondering how much will really go to help. My friend Carolyn is battling cancer and there is a campaign set up to help with her medical bills. Here is the link to it: Help Carolyn Kick Cancer 

A very heartfelt thank you to those of you who decide to jump in and help. There is also a benefit concert that I will be participating in on January 23^rd. You can check out the details of that here: Benefit Concert 

Are you looking for some new renditions of Christmas favorites AND a way to support independent artists? (I’ll assume you are nodding yes to this.) Well, my friend Kira Small has a new CD coming out, and one of the rewards for supporting the project is a digital download of some Christmas songs. You can’t get them anywhere else, plus you get the download of the new CD to boot! Check her out here: Kira's Music 

Do you enjoy sappy Christmas movies on the Hallmark channel this time of year? (I know everyone does. Come on, admit it, you’re glued to the TV at all hours watching them just like I am.) Well, this year, there are two new ones in the smorgasbord that are particularly special to me.

The Christmas Note, written by my cousin Erik Patterson will air again December 17^th, 19^th, 21^st, and 25^th. And The Bridge, produced by my cousin Dan Angel will air again December 13^th, 15^th, 18^th, and 24^th. Please check them out!

Do you love to read? (Clearly, you do, because you’re on my blog page reading it.) This year’s pick for book I loved was Don’t Jump by Vicki Abelson. Aside from being a wonderful writer herself, Vicki is all about being a supporter and encourager of other writers by creating the group known as Women Who Write. She is one awesome lady! 

And while we are on the topic of awesome ladies, you will love these books by Jeryl Brunner: 

My City, My New York

My City, My Los Angeles

Do you have a young child on your list? There is a heartwarming book by J. Frederic Rowles called Amil, the Lonely Stone. Buy it and read it with the little ones. It's soooo sweet!

A Christmas list would not be complete without mention of my favorite Christmas CD’s from year to year. You would think they would change constantly, but interestingly enough, no one else's has knocked them off their well deserved perch of my top three favorite holiday CD’s. 

So here once again are:

BethAnne Clayton’s Remember: 

Remember Christmas CD 

Mak Kaylor’s Glad Tidings: 

Glad Tidings Christmas CD 

Christopher Finkelmeyer’s Unforgotten Christmas: 

Unforgotten Christmas CD 

What have I left out? Oh yeah, my new CD, which is available for pre-order now! Here’s the link to pre-order: "In Color" Pre-Order  

I hope you all have a beautiful and joy-filled holiday season!

Peace and Blessings to you,

Ilene