In Search of...a New Year's Eve blog

Today is the last day of 2010, and like many people, I suppose I will be spending it keeping busy in order to avoid those gnawing feelings of melancholy that accompany the passage of another year gone by. It seems that the older I get, the more quickly time is going by. I’m reminded of this because I’m watching a celebrity make up artist who has probably become a multi-millionaire by designing concealer that will mask any flaw or sign of aging that you might have and will not budge for five days. I believe in other circles they call this spackling or repaving, but for beauty purposes we call it concealing.

But for now I wish not to conceal anything. I wish to view myself, if only for a brief moment, with no cover up, no mask, cosmetic or otherwise, and no holds barred.

Yes, for a brief moment on this last day of 2010, I choose to take stock and give thanks, to inhale one final deep breath in and to exhale a past that I can do nothing to change in order so that I may let in a future of bright possibility.

This year has been one of massive transition. It has seen a move across the country, a chance to regroup and rethink my life’s direction. It has seen some “almosts,” some celebrations, and some loss. I have published a book, created a website, and had the opportunity to inspire people in ways I both know and don’t know about because I had the courage to move forward with no promise of success or reward, with just the inner prodding of that voice that knows more than I frequently listen to.

I have seen flood waters ravage the city I lived in, but not the spirit of the people who inhabit it. I shared both moments of triumph and despair with dear friends. And I have lost a dear friend, too.

As 2011 approaches, I am grateful for the chance to start fresh, to take stock of what is valuable to me, and to think about what is worthy of a resolution. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

I resolve…
To live more by faith than by circumstance
To begin each day in a state of gratitude for the gift that it is
And surrender to a more loving spirit that seeks my greatest good

I resolve…
To allow myself to take in my own worthiness
To choose love over fear
Belief over doubt
Joy over worry

I resolve…
To let go of the past without losing its valuable lessons
To step into my own power
To shower the world with the best that I have to offer

I resolve…
To make peace with the body I was given

I resolve…
To maintain the values of integrity and trust

I resolve…
To rejoice in the present moment
To empower everyone I can
To see a world more at peace, more filled with love, and more full of promise…because I am.

Whatever it is you wish for yourself in 2011, I hope you receive it. Thank you for stopping by, and for allowing me to share who I am with you. I am so grateful. Happy New Year!!!