Years ago I saw a movie called Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle, and though the famous writers in that film ultimately drank and smoked themselves to death, I found their wit and turn of phrase so appealing, it got me thinking that nicotine and alcohol might not be such a bad way to go in exchange for brilliance.
At the time, I chalked it up to the romanticism of the movie and maintained my relatively clean living. But lately I've been thinking again about vices and how the only real one I can come up with is my ability to curse wantonly in ways and for lengths of time that completely belie my appearance. Oh, don't misunderstand me, I try not to do it willy nilly in public, but if you cut me off in traffic, you would not enjoy the litany of things I call you in the private confines of my car. And when I stub a toe, forget it. There's nothing sweet and demure about what comes out of my mouth.
Lately, though, cursing is just not providing the satisfaction it once did, and so in light of the unexpected $1500 dental bill, I am looking for that special something to take the edge off - I'm looking for a new vice.
I am open to suggestions since drinking, smoking and swearing are the only ones that come to mind. There's always eating, but you have to do that anyway to survive, so I can't count that. No, I want something that seems sophisticated and sexy and cool, if only in my mind or in the movies. Any thoughts from you readers out there? I'm open to suggestions, but they have to be legal.
I'll leave you with that to ponder, dear readers, as I prepare to blog next about football on this Superbowl weekend. Yes, you heard me correctly. I said football. You will be shocked at who just turned me around on that sport and why. TGIF.
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