It turns out, according to the quiz I just took in O Magazine, that I am a “super optimist” not even just a regular one. For those of you that have listened to me drone on about the sure signs of mankind’s impending doom, I’m sure you find this as surprising as I do. But according to La Oprah’s folks, I’m an optimist.
This got me thinking about how, in my own estimation, I am hopeful, but not optimistic. I believe in endless possibilities while acknowledging the likely negative probabilities. I envision a world at peace and without greed, while at the same time knowing that I will not see that in my lifetime. And yet, my soul longs for that kind of world, undeterred by the seeming futility of that desire. This strikes me as just a tad, well, insane, if you will.
The results of my optimism quiz said I likely suffered from “unrealistic expectations.” Well, duh. I don’t know anyone who is in the arts that isn’t tormented and/or slightly delusional. We bridge the gap between the unseen and seen realms, between what is imagined and what is tangible. You need an extra heaping serving of crazy in order to do that!
So in light of the recent tsunami in Japan and start of a new war in Libya, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’m going to do with the little remaining time we all have here. When I’m not perseverating on radiation leaks, tidal waves, and a dwindling clean water supply, (optimistically, of course), I am wondering what it is that matters in the end. And what I’ve come up with, my friends, is this – not much. Precious little really matters. In fact, I can only come up with one thing – how well we love those we love. When the waters wash away everything, we are not frantically searching for the armoire. We are searching for what we cherish most – each other. The last words we desperately try to eke out are always and only “I love you.” And so it is that we could better spend our final days here on good ol’ Mother Earth trying to embody that which we would say with our dying breath.
So me, Suzie Optimist, will be focusing anew on how best I can fully be present with everyone I encounter. I will not squander the opportunity to connect meaningfully with you, my other fellow travelers, nor will I wait for a “right time” for anything. It turns out this is not only the right time, it is the only time.
As I meet you along the way, I hope I convey that you matter to me. I hope that in the brevity that is each of our lives, I have brought some small measure of those things which I myself have longed to see in the world – peace, love, acceptance, hope.
Hey, it turns out Oprah may be right! I may actually be a super optimist after all, albeit one that's pretty sure the world is immanently ending.
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