My One New Year's Resolution for 2014

It’s 2014, and I’ve spent the first few days of the New Year with a migraine that feels like what could best be described as the torture scene of, well, any movie with a torture scene, I suppose.

Oh, like the serenity prayer suggests, I’ve learned to accept the things I cannot change, so I know the headache will eventually pass, but it kind of put a damper on that running start we all make to the gym at the beginning of a new year, as well as my attitude about diet, which quickly went from an optimistic, “I can do this” to “fuck it, give me a cookie.”

So the New Year’s resolution thing has been put off for a few days, and it may not be the wisest choice to sit down now to do it, while I’m both medicated AND still in pain, but I wanted to show this headache who’s boss…which, it turns out, is not me at the moment.

Anyway, I started thinking about my potential list of resolutions. I was gonna keep it simple – finish my CD and book, start doing yoga, manifest lasting peace in the world – you know – the usual stuff. But then I saw a Wayne Dyer post on Facebook and it changed everything. (Damn that Dyer guy.)

It said, “What if the only resolution you made was to love yourself more?” And I started thinking. Well, first, having only one resolution on my list would drastically increase my odds of success. And second, wouldn’t that encompass anything else I could think of to put on my list?

Think about it. What does someone who loves him or herself look like? How would they show up? Wouldn’t they be respectful of their mind, body, soul, job, relationships, the planet – you get the idea.

If you’ve been reading my blog for a long time, (and if you haven’t been, you are welcome to go back in the archives and read to your heart’s content), you might remember that, for a brief period, I contemplated what the tenets would be if I started my own religion. (My logic was if L. Ron Hubbard could do it, then, really, couldn’t any of us?)

I started my religion with the very lofty: Clean up your own mess.

Yup, mine is the religion of personal responsibility, though I need a much catchier name for it than that. And I didn’t limit the word “mess” to one thing. Nope, I’m a big picture kind of gal. I mean it for everything from, when you have an item in the grocery store that you decide you don’t want, don’t just randomly leave it on another shelf in another aisle; put it back where you got it. And I meant “clean up your own mess” for those who litter, pollute, and destroy the environment, both on the smallest as well as on the grandest scale. And I also meant it about relationships. No one can fix your relationships but you, even if that means forgiving. Even if it means a silent prayer of release. Even if it means apologizing. Whatever it is, taking ownership and dealing with it, if multiplied by every person on the planet, would have enormous impact.

My second tenet, if memory serves correctly, was – wait for it, Wayne Dyer – Love yourself.

Here’s the thing. In the Ten Commandments of the Judeo-Christian faiths, the commandment reads, “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” The only problem with that is we have no idea how to love ourselves, and it presupposes that we do. So of course, we have no idea how to honor other people. We haven’t figured out how to do that for ourselves. And we’re not to blame for that. We’ve been taught by other people who had no idea how to love themselves. And so on. So we’ve perpetuated a system where we are pre-programmed for failure, instead of making the goal to start from the inside and work outward.

So I’ve decided that I’m gonna go with loving myself more as my one and only resolution for 2014. More today than yesterday, more this year than last. I’m gonna keep that at the forefront of my mind and see where it takes me. I’m open to new adventures this year, to heading for fantastic places not yet contemplated. Plus, I am still working on what perks could be given away for followers of my new religion. I think getting your own planet has already been done. Hmm, this could take some time...

Whatever your resolutions are for 2014, I hope you achieve them and revel gleefully in your success. Thanks for stopping by. Please tell your friends.