Welcome
to the new In Search of… blog! I decided that after five years it was time
for a makeover.
Since
it’s Mother’s Day, I thought it would be nice to stop and reflect for a moment.
For those of us whose mothers have passed, our memories are the sacred trust
contained within our hearts while the rest of society is out looking for bouquets
of something or other.
After
my mother died, I remember going through her pocketbook and finding not only
some old pictures of me, but to my amazement, some old flyers from previous
shows I had done. She schlepped these things around with her everywhere she
went, and it occurred to me that no one would ever love me that much or that
way ever again.
As
I was cleaning out the house later on, I discovered old letters and an old
diary of hers, and in those artifacts, I learned about the person she was
before her husband and children, what her hopes and dreams were. I caught a
glimpse into her soul, and I wished I could have had a conversation with her
knowing these things, but at the same time, I felt her presence as strongly as
if she were standing right next to me.
For
those of us missing our moms on this particular day, it is an opportunity to be
kind to ourselves and to celebrate what we loved best about the person who birthed
us. It is a chance to assess those traits passed down and now embodied by us
and to decide which ones do and don’t serve us.
I
have inherited, for better or worse, my mother’s inherent sense about people, her
ire about anything unjust or unfair, and her championing of every underdog
succeeding. I share her protective sense of loyalty when it comes to those I love
and her far reaching memory when it comes to those to be wary of.
Whatever
it is you most love or loved about your mom, I hope you take a moment to stop
and give thanks for it today, and to be extra specially kind to everyone around,
because you don’t know who is hurting on holidays such as this one.
If
my mother had lived to see this era of the blog, I’m sure she would have found
a way to carry mine around with her. If you would like to keep reading my blog,
one of the new features on the top right next to this post is an email box
where you can sign up to be notified whenever I post a new blog.
Another
new feature is the “Donate” button right below it, which is completely
voluntary and unbelievably appreciated. The technology of the times we live in
is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, writers like me have the new found
ability to reach worldwide audiences. But on the other hand, our work has
become devalued to the point where we cannot sustain ourselves doing the thing
we love most and are best at doing. So I ask that if you enjoy what you read
here, that you donate any amount you like and encourage others to do so as
well.
I
hope you have a fantastic day, celebrating the gift of those who brought us all
into the world.
Happy
Mother’s Day!
Ilene
Me & Mom in the early 80's
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