It turns out, according to the quiz I just took in O Magazine, that I am a “super optimist” not even just a regular one. For those of you that have listened to me drone on about the sure signs of mankind’s impending doom, I’m sure you find this as surprising as I do. But according to La Oprah’s folks, I’m an optimist.
This got me thinking about how, in my own estimation, I am hopeful, but not optimistic. I believe in endless possibilities while acknowledging the likely negative probabilities. I envision a world at peace and without greed, while at the same time knowing that I will not see that in my lifetime. And yet, my soul longs for that kind of world, undeterred by the seeming futility of that desire. This strikes me as just a tad, well, insane, if you will.
The results of my optimism quiz said I likely suffered from “unrealistic expectations.” Well, duh. I don’t know anyone who is in the arts that isn’t tormented and/or slightly delusional. We bridge the gap between the unseen and seen realms, between what is imagined and what is tangible. You need an extra heaping serving of crazy in order to do that!
So in light of the recent tsunami in Japan and start of a new war in Libya, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’m going to do with the little remaining time we all have here. When I’m not perseverating on radiation leaks, tidal waves, and a dwindling clean water supply, (optimistically, of course), I am wondering what it is that matters in the end. And what I’ve come up with, my friends, is this – not much. Precious little really matters. In fact, I can only come up with one thing – how well we love those we love. When the waters wash away everything, we are not frantically searching for the armoire. We are searching for what we cherish most – each other. The last words we desperately try to eke out are always and only “I love you.” And so it is that we could better spend our final days here on good ol’ Mother Earth trying to embody that which we would say with our dying breath.
So me, Suzie Optimist, will be focusing anew on how best I can fully be present with everyone I encounter. I will not squander the opportunity to connect meaningfully with you, my other fellow travelers, nor will I wait for a “right time” for anything. It turns out this is not only the right time, it is the only time.
As I meet you along the way, I hope I convey that you matter to me. I hope that in the brevity that is each of our lives, I have brought some small measure of those things which I myself have longed to see in the world – peace, love, acceptance, hope.
Hey, it turns out Oprah may be right! I may actually be a super optimist after all, albeit one that's pretty sure the world is immanently ending.
Thanks for stopping by. Please tell your friends.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
In Search of...time well spent
We live in a society that determines success by quantifiable results. It you do this, you get that. If you've accomplished this, you are successful. Societally, we really don't consider poverty to be a virtue, nor do we consider wealth to solely be measured by the size of our bank accounts.
Years ago, while participating in a three month leadership training, I had to check in with someone every day and they asked me one question: What are you going to create today? It's been a long time since I've thought about that, and an even longer time since I've begun my day asking myself that question. But it is a valuable one to ask ourselves each day because it sets the tone, not only for those results which are economically quantifiable, but for those things like our relationships that are not.
As a songwriter, or writer of any kind, for that matter, it is murky water we tread in to determine the value of what it is we create each day. The fun is in the creation of it, the moment you get a spark of an idea, a fleeting glimpse of eternity and the experience of true magic. Most people aren't lucky enough to have that opportunity, but those of us prone to the joys and heartaches of creating something out of thin air hang on to those moments for dear life. They are what sustain us.
That brings me to this...a bunch of songs I wrote for my cousin Matt Angel to record. Now, normally I would refer to this as a "shameless act of self promotion," trying to downplay the fact that I have created something that I want people to spend their hard earned money on. But the truth is I'm proud of what we've done. I loved the time I spent writing and co-writing all the songs with my friends. I loved the joy of working with my cousin and of the studio experience. And yes, I love the outcome. It was a project created from a place of joy, and so when I look back on it, it was time very well spent. I hope when you listen, you find that to be the case as well.
Here's the link for it:
http://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/matt-angel/id424309349
Whatever it is you choose to create today, I hope it brings you much satisfaction. Thank you for sharing a few minutes of your time on this blog. I appreciate it more than you know. Peace and Blessings to you all.
Years ago, while participating in a three month leadership training, I had to check in with someone every day and they asked me one question: What are you going to create today? It's been a long time since I've thought about that, and an even longer time since I've begun my day asking myself that question. But it is a valuable one to ask ourselves each day because it sets the tone, not only for those results which are economically quantifiable, but for those things like our relationships that are not.
As a songwriter, or writer of any kind, for that matter, it is murky water we tread in to determine the value of what it is we create each day. The fun is in the creation of it, the moment you get a spark of an idea, a fleeting glimpse of eternity and the experience of true magic. Most people aren't lucky enough to have that opportunity, but those of us prone to the joys and heartaches of creating something out of thin air hang on to those moments for dear life. They are what sustain us.
That brings me to this...a bunch of songs I wrote for my cousin Matt Angel to record. Now, normally I would refer to this as a "shameless act of self promotion," trying to downplay the fact that I have created something that I want people to spend their hard earned money on. But the truth is I'm proud of what we've done. I loved the time I spent writing and co-writing all the songs with my friends. I loved the joy of working with my cousin and of the studio experience. And yes, I love the outcome. It was a project created from a place of joy, and so when I look back on it, it was time very well spent. I hope when you listen, you find that to be the case as well.
Here's the link for it:
http://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/matt-angel/id424309349
Whatever it is you choose to create today, I hope it brings you much satisfaction. Thank you for sharing a few minutes of your time on this blog. I appreciate it more than you know. Peace and Blessings to you all.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
In Search of...the best show on TV
Okay, so I’m prone to a little exaggeration now and then, but let’s be blunt: the majority of what passes for TV shows these days is, oh how to put this delicately – crap.
When I say that, I mean no disrespect to those precious few who work on The Good Wife, that last bastion of intelligent writing on television. No, I’m talking about the Bachelor, Bachelorette, Housewives of Who Cares Where, and His Majesty, The Donald with all his fake Apprentices.
They bring me down. They bring us all down. It is a backstabbing, mean-spirited, chauvinistic, stupidity-glorifying world that these people inhabit with no discernible redeeming qualities. And because I have been inundated with this kind of behavior on TV for so long, I was starting to think that it was I who was going slightly mad.
You see, I envision not only a TV program, but a world that does not aspire to the lowest possible common denominator, but to just the opposite – reaching for the stars, for the noblest, highest portion of our best selves. The only Amazing Race I want to see is the one to cure cancer and heart disease and worldwide hunger. There will always be survival of the fittest, but just once I’d like to see a mindset that says, “Together we will all flourish or perish.”
That’s where Secret Millionaire comes in. Imagine a show that glorifies people who are quietly saving the world one person at a time. Picture the two ladies in their eighties who are cooking and delivering meals for the hungry and housebound. Or the lady who, with her family, creates fantasy bedrooms for dying children. Imagine people who have made their own way, surmounted impossible odds to become rich, seeking out ways in which they can volunteer to give back with not only their money, but their time and energy and love and hearts. This show makes you want to give more, live better, love unconditionally from wherever you are with whatever means you have. If ever there was a role model needed, this show provides the best one. It exemplifies what we should all aspire to – the very best in us. It answers the question most of us ask in our heads when we are overwhelmed by the enormity of need in the world: What can I do? It turns out we can do a lot. I believe it is nothing short of miraculous that a show like this could make it to air, but it is here.
So Secret Millionaire is my current pick for the best show on TV. Check it out next Sunday. I guarantee when you’re done watching, you’ll want to do something to help someone right now. And that, my friends, is a good take away.
Here’s to kindhearted television that impacts a better world. Thanks for stopping by. Please tell your friends.
When I say that, I mean no disrespect to those precious few who work on The Good Wife, that last bastion of intelligent writing on television. No, I’m talking about the Bachelor, Bachelorette, Housewives of Who Cares Where, and His Majesty, The Donald with all his fake Apprentices.
They bring me down. They bring us all down. It is a backstabbing, mean-spirited, chauvinistic, stupidity-glorifying world that these people inhabit with no discernible redeeming qualities. And because I have been inundated with this kind of behavior on TV for so long, I was starting to think that it was I who was going slightly mad.
You see, I envision not only a TV program, but a world that does not aspire to the lowest possible common denominator, but to just the opposite – reaching for the stars, for the noblest, highest portion of our best selves. The only Amazing Race I want to see is the one to cure cancer and heart disease and worldwide hunger. There will always be survival of the fittest, but just once I’d like to see a mindset that says, “Together we will all flourish or perish.”
That’s where Secret Millionaire comes in. Imagine a show that glorifies people who are quietly saving the world one person at a time. Picture the two ladies in their eighties who are cooking and delivering meals for the hungry and housebound. Or the lady who, with her family, creates fantasy bedrooms for dying children. Imagine people who have made their own way, surmounted impossible odds to become rich, seeking out ways in which they can volunteer to give back with not only their money, but their time and energy and love and hearts. This show makes you want to give more, live better, love unconditionally from wherever you are with whatever means you have. If ever there was a role model needed, this show provides the best one. It exemplifies what we should all aspire to – the very best in us. It answers the question most of us ask in our heads when we are overwhelmed by the enormity of need in the world: What can I do? It turns out we can do a lot. I believe it is nothing short of miraculous that a show like this could make it to air, but it is here.
So Secret Millionaire is my current pick for the best show on TV. Check it out next Sunday. I guarantee when you’re done watching, you’ll want to do something to help someone right now. And that, my friends, is a good take away.
Here’s to kindhearted television that impacts a better world. Thanks for stopping by. Please tell your friends.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
In Search of...perseverance
As I watched George Stephanopoulos race Apolo Ohno to the top of the Empire State Building this morning on Good Morning America, a couple of things occurred to me. First, George is in way better shape than I am. And second, perseverance trumps everything from age to athletic prowess.
I can assure you that I mean no disrespect to George when I say this. In fact, it was a lesson in grit and determination to witness someone nearly twice the age of an Olympic gold medalist cross the finish line before him. To be fair, Apolo may have held back or stopped for a bagel and coffee on floor 47, who knows, but I'm going to go with the notion that George won fair and square and in earnest.
This got me thinking...does the best person always succeed or just the one who doesn't give up? Can we accomplish more than we have the natural inclination for simply because we work harder and longer at it? What determines our achievements? Is it how badly we want something, what we're willing to sacrifice to get it...or is it the kind of dogged persistence that defies all rational thinking but somehow says to an ever-listening universe "I will not stop until I achieve this goal." I believe it's the last one.
As I huffed and puffed on the treadmill, newly inspired by George's win over Apolo, I gave some thought to what it is I would be willing to go the extra mile for. With iPod blasting and sweat pouring off me, I felt rejuvenated and inspired, ready to rise one more time than I've fallen, bound and determined to make it to the top of my very own Empire State Building so that breathless and spent, I can enjoy the magnificent view of what it is I've created with sheer perseverance.
Whatever it is that you long for, I wish you the fortitude to see it through so that, together, we can create of world in which all things are truly possible.
Thanks for stopping by. Please tell your friends.
I can assure you that I mean no disrespect to George when I say this. In fact, it was a lesson in grit and determination to witness someone nearly twice the age of an Olympic gold medalist cross the finish line before him. To be fair, Apolo may have held back or stopped for a bagel and coffee on floor 47, who knows, but I'm going to go with the notion that George won fair and square and in earnest.
This got me thinking...does the best person always succeed or just the one who doesn't give up? Can we accomplish more than we have the natural inclination for simply because we work harder and longer at it? What determines our achievements? Is it how badly we want something, what we're willing to sacrifice to get it...or is it the kind of dogged persistence that defies all rational thinking but somehow says to an ever-listening universe "I will not stop until I achieve this goal." I believe it's the last one.
As I huffed and puffed on the treadmill, newly inspired by George's win over Apolo, I gave some thought to what it is I would be willing to go the extra mile for. With iPod blasting and sweat pouring off me, I felt rejuvenated and inspired, ready to rise one more time than I've fallen, bound and determined to make it to the top of my very own Empire State Building so that breathless and spent, I can enjoy the magnificent view of what it is I've created with sheer perseverance.
Whatever it is that you long for, I wish you the fortitude to see it through so that, together, we can create of world in which all things are truly possible.
Thanks for stopping by. Please tell your friends.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
In Search of...my yearly Oscar blog
It's that day again, second only to Christmas in my family - the Academy Awards. While I still find it shocking that I'm not actually nominated for an Oscar this year, I won't let the temporary disappointment ruin the utter glee I feel in celebrating the art of the motion picture and all who contribute to its creation. Yes, movies provide more than just a chance for a two hour escape, they provide the chance to bear witness to the human experience in all its devastating beauty.
Whether it's the desire for greatness that drives a dancer to madness in Black Swan, or the genius that supersedes the ability to truly connect with fellow human beings in The Social Network, or rising above your family dynamic to achieve your personal best and your own moment of glory in The Fighter, this year's movies take us where we don't ordinarily go on our own - to the depths of our shortcomings and the heights of what is possible when we push ourselves.
So for my money, this year's recipients should come as no great surprise. The King's Speech should covet the best picture, best actor and best director. Natalie Portman should hands down win best actress, and Christian Bale best supporting actor with Melissa Leo taking best supporting actress.
Of course, my moment of greatest personal enjoyment will come when Aaron Sorkin brings home the best adapted screenplay Oscar for The Social Network. It is no secret that he is unequivocally my favorite writer, regardless of genre. I find it nothing short of a miracle that he could pen a movie comprised solely of dialogue and have it reach best picture nomination status. Let's hear it for the smart people!
As for best original song, the category I've envisioned winning since early childhood, I am rooting for my fellow Nashvillians who wrote "Coming Home" from the movie Country Strong.
Well, it's time to slip on my Oscar gown and sparkly baubles. (Or frankly speaking, it's time to go buy the chips and salsa.) Enjoy the Oscars!
Thanks for stopping by.
Whether it's the desire for greatness that drives a dancer to madness in Black Swan, or the genius that supersedes the ability to truly connect with fellow human beings in The Social Network, or rising above your family dynamic to achieve your personal best and your own moment of glory in The Fighter, this year's movies take us where we don't ordinarily go on our own - to the depths of our shortcomings and the heights of what is possible when we push ourselves.
So for my money, this year's recipients should come as no great surprise. The King's Speech should covet the best picture, best actor and best director. Natalie Portman should hands down win best actress, and Christian Bale best supporting actor with Melissa Leo taking best supporting actress.
Of course, my moment of greatest personal enjoyment will come when Aaron Sorkin brings home the best adapted screenplay Oscar for The Social Network. It is no secret that he is unequivocally my favorite writer, regardless of genre. I find it nothing short of a miracle that he could pen a movie comprised solely of dialogue and have it reach best picture nomination status. Let's hear it for the smart people!
As for best original song, the category I've envisioned winning since early childhood, I am rooting for my fellow Nashvillians who wrote "Coming Home" from the movie Country Strong.
Well, it's time to slip on my Oscar gown and sparkly baubles. (Or frankly speaking, it's time to go buy the chips and salsa.) Enjoy the Oscars!
Thanks for stopping by.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
In Search of...words to live by
The title of this particular blog came to me today as I learned a very valuable lesson at the dentist's office: Don't swallow the numbing gel.
Yes, boys and girls, while it may seem obvious to most, a little accident of this kind can send you into a feelingless panic, take it from me. While my life flashed before my eyes as the sensation left not only my intended mouth, but my throat as well, it occurred to me that this, too, shall pass, and wouldn't it be cool if I could calm down enough to savor the sensation of no sensation at all?
That's when, in that split second of fear, I gleaned a little insight about not feeling. In my numbness, it dawned on me that I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all, because whether it's pain or pleasure, to feel is to know that you're alive. So I decided to savor this brief period of numbness as a chance to be an observer instead of a participant in my life, and I vowed silently to pay attention as bit by bit the feeling returned.
I thought about the things that had hurt me, transferring a sense of feelinglessness to those, too. Nothing could touch me now - no pain, no loss, no failure. They were silenced as if by the same topical magic potion that was on my gums. But so, too, was my joy silenced. I couldn't feel the euphoria I had felt when my four year old niece put her little hand on my cheek and said, "I love you, Aunt Ilene." I couldn't feel the joy of spending time with my dearest friends. I was numb and despite my earlier sense of panic, it was a relief for a moment to step outside myself and take a good look around.
My dental work was done before I was quite ready to give up my out of body experience. The numbness would go away soon, and I was warned that there might be some pain in its place. I could take a pill for that pain if I wanted to later. Oh, if only it was that easy.
As sensation returned, I reveled in it, I noticed it, I was present for it. Even as I became aware of some discomfort, I welcomed that, too. Yes, life is fraught with experiences that challenge our fortitude, but so is it blessed with what builds us up and makes us stronger.
So when it comes to life, or love, or the dentist, these are my words to live by: Don't swallow the numbing gel.
Thanks for stopping by. Please tell your friends.
Yes, boys and girls, while it may seem obvious to most, a little accident of this kind can send you into a feelingless panic, take it from me. While my life flashed before my eyes as the sensation left not only my intended mouth, but my throat as well, it occurred to me that this, too, shall pass, and wouldn't it be cool if I could calm down enough to savor the sensation of no sensation at all?
That's when, in that split second of fear, I gleaned a little insight about not feeling. In my numbness, it dawned on me that I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all, because whether it's pain or pleasure, to feel is to know that you're alive. So I decided to savor this brief period of numbness as a chance to be an observer instead of a participant in my life, and I vowed silently to pay attention as bit by bit the feeling returned.
I thought about the things that had hurt me, transferring a sense of feelinglessness to those, too. Nothing could touch me now - no pain, no loss, no failure. They were silenced as if by the same topical magic potion that was on my gums. But so, too, was my joy silenced. I couldn't feel the euphoria I had felt when my four year old niece put her little hand on my cheek and said, "I love you, Aunt Ilene." I couldn't feel the joy of spending time with my dearest friends. I was numb and despite my earlier sense of panic, it was a relief for a moment to step outside myself and take a good look around.
My dental work was done before I was quite ready to give up my out of body experience. The numbness would go away soon, and I was warned that there might be some pain in its place. I could take a pill for that pain if I wanted to later. Oh, if only it was that easy.
As sensation returned, I reveled in it, I noticed it, I was present for it. Even as I became aware of some discomfort, I welcomed that, too. Yes, life is fraught with experiences that challenge our fortitude, but so is it blessed with what builds us up and makes us stronger.
So when it comes to life, or love, or the dentist, these are my words to live by: Don't swallow the numbing gel.
Thanks for stopping by. Please tell your friends.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
In Search of...a birthday blog for George Stephanopoulos
George Stephanopoulos is turning fifty today, and in honor of that auspicious occasion, and because there would have been no In Search of George Stephanopoulos book or this blog without him, I thought I'd write a little birthday piece, an Ode to George, if you will.
I could fill it with platitudes about how smart he is or how instrumental he was in helping Bill Clinton get elected president, or how well he transitioned from politics to journalism, but that's all water under the bridge, and it's been said before, so I see no point in stating the obvious.
No, today I'd like to talk about that thing we all wonder about people who have achieved celebrity status - what are they like when the cameras aren't rolling? That, my friends, is the million dollar question. And take it from someone who's met a few celebrities in her time, they aren't all nice.
For those of you who are visiting this blog for the first time, (welcome and where the hell have you been?!!) my quest to meet George Stephanopoulos began when he was an eligible bachelor and I was going out on a lot of bad blind dates set up by well-meaning friends. While it's true that George is on TV, he is also intelligent, of the same political persuasion as I am, and seemed, at least publicly, like he was a nice guy - all of which meant George and I had more in common than the people I was dating. Plus, he's also left handed.
My road to trying to meet George Stephanopoulos had many near misses, all of which I've documented in my book (which, because this is an excellent opportunity for shameless self promotion, can be purchased here: http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/in-search-of-george-stephanopoulos-a-true-story-of-life-love-and-the-pursuit-of-a-short-greek-guy/11904093?productTrackingContext=search_results/search_shelf/center/2).
Along the way George got married and started a family, which left me without the Cinderella ending to my tale that I had hoped for. And though George's romantic ship had sailed without me, it occurred to me that all the things that were appealing about him to me in the first place, were still true.
I wondered what the lesson was and if there could be a different version of success than I had envisioned initially. What if you go for what it is you want and you don't get it? What if, along the way, you become a changed person because of it, meeting people you never would have met, having amazing adventures you never would have had? Is success dependent on the outcome we receive, or is it dependent on who we become in the process?
So I wrote George Stephanopoulos a heartfelt letter, telling him this story of how in my search for him, I found me. I told him I had no book deal on the table and no agent. Basically, I told him that there was nothing in it for him in granting me a few minutes of his time, except the possibility that anyone who might eventually read the book would have the satisfaction of knowing that sometimes the underdog does succeed and that going for your dreams, even the ridiculous or seemingly frivolous ones, is always rewarded in unimaginable ways.
So he called me. Yes, it was a few minutes of his time, but it meant the world to me. He was kind and generous of spirit and there was no one around but me to witness it. My book was completed and published, which he couldn't have known it ever would be at the time of our conversation.
So here's to not just a smart guy, but a good guy. I am grateful that there are still people around, famous or not, who don't need to ask, "What's in it for me?"
Happy Birthday to you, George. And thanks.
Peace and Blessings,
Ilene
I could fill it with platitudes about how smart he is or how instrumental he was in helping Bill Clinton get elected president, or how well he transitioned from politics to journalism, but that's all water under the bridge, and it's been said before, so I see no point in stating the obvious.
No, today I'd like to talk about that thing we all wonder about people who have achieved celebrity status - what are they like when the cameras aren't rolling? That, my friends, is the million dollar question. And take it from someone who's met a few celebrities in her time, they aren't all nice.
For those of you who are visiting this blog for the first time, (welcome and where the hell have you been?!!) my quest to meet George Stephanopoulos began when he was an eligible bachelor and I was going out on a lot of bad blind dates set up by well-meaning friends. While it's true that George is on TV, he is also intelligent, of the same political persuasion as I am, and seemed, at least publicly, like he was a nice guy - all of which meant George and I had more in common than the people I was dating. Plus, he's also left handed.
My road to trying to meet George Stephanopoulos had many near misses, all of which I've documented in my book (which, because this is an excellent opportunity for shameless self promotion, can be purchased here: http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/in-search-of-george-stephanopoulos-a-true-story-of-life-love-and-the-pursuit-of-a-short-greek-guy/11904093?productTrackingContext=search_results/search_shelf/center/2).
Along the way George got married and started a family, which left me without the Cinderella ending to my tale that I had hoped for. And though George's romantic ship had sailed without me, it occurred to me that all the things that were appealing about him to me in the first place, were still true.
I wondered what the lesson was and if there could be a different version of success than I had envisioned initially. What if you go for what it is you want and you don't get it? What if, along the way, you become a changed person because of it, meeting people you never would have met, having amazing adventures you never would have had? Is success dependent on the outcome we receive, or is it dependent on who we become in the process?
So I wrote George Stephanopoulos a heartfelt letter, telling him this story of how in my search for him, I found me. I told him I had no book deal on the table and no agent. Basically, I told him that there was nothing in it for him in granting me a few minutes of his time, except the possibility that anyone who might eventually read the book would have the satisfaction of knowing that sometimes the underdog does succeed and that going for your dreams, even the ridiculous or seemingly frivolous ones, is always rewarded in unimaginable ways.
So he called me. Yes, it was a few minutes of his time, but it meant the world to me. He was kind and generous of spirit and there was no one around but me to witness it. My book was completed and published, which he couldn't have known it ever would be at the time of our conversation.
So here's to not just a smart guy, but a good guy. I am grateful that there are still people around, famous or not, who don't need to ask, "What's in it for me?"
Happy Birthday to you, George. And thanks.
Peace and Blessings,
Ilene
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