In Search of...a replacement for Texas

I know it's not Sunday yet, but I'm feeling feisty since Governor Rick Perry's threat of secession. For nearly a decade now we've been told not to "mess with Texas," so I for one would like to encourage him to follow his heart and reach for new horizons. Maybe they could join Mexico. I hear that country's doing really well right now.

As for the claim that Texas has a better economy than many other states, I happen to know of at least one public school district that has a $1.5 million deficit...and that's just a school district, so I'm pretty sure that the Governor's figures are skewed, or at the very least that many, many children are being left behind. But no worries, I'm sure you'll have that covered.

And what about the right to secede? I'm not a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure there was a case in 1868 called Texas v. White that determined that "when Texas became one the United States, she entered into an indissoluble relation." Even I could find that on the internet.

But they say, if you love something you must set it free, so bye, bye Texas. Don't let our American flag hit you on the way out. And good luck paying for all the things that our federal government used to fund for you...like relief when the next hurricane hits, and things like highways. By the way, what type of currency do you plan on using, and how will your mail be sent? Got an army at the ready?

Oh Texas, we mustn't spend another moment worrying about you. You'll be just fine. You're scrappy. But who will replace you?

I have been giving this some thought, and here are some of my suggestions for a possible replacement:

1) Nova Scotia - mostly because I like Salmon.
2) Tahiti - lovely vacation spot, though I've never been. The French will surrender it, I'm pretty sure. And why not keep all those tourism dollars in our own economy?
3) Brazil - which is bigger than Texas, has great plastic surgeons, and Carnival. What could be better?

So adios, you lone stars. Godspeed, Mr. former President...of your former country.

Thanks for stopping by, fellow citizens. Please tell your friends.